Sabado, Mayo 5, 2012

To a dear friend

It hurts when people you care so much about get swallowed up by pain. They fail to realize that when you see or hear them crying,it's also tearing you apart deep inside. When you tell your friends what you're going through, don't just expect them to sit back, relax and just listen to your endless rantings. Don't just expect them to tell you that "everything is going to be fine"  because in time, they can no longer just sit back and watch. They will stand up for you and fight. 

Don't expect me to stop fighting for you because believe me,  I had tried to stop myself.  You do not just expect me to get on with my life as if nothing happened because whether you like it or not, the moment you told me what's going on, I got myself caught up in the situation. 

I may not know him personally... I don't need to. The way he treated me through virtual conversation is more than enough to tell me that he is not good for you. Jerks like that don't deserve nice girls like you.  

And yes... I am sad and disappointed on how you have defended him despite of what he has done to you emotionally. Would you rather be an option? A hobby? I hope you realize that he probably has spent more time playing online games than actually have a meaningful conversation with you. 

He had deleted himself from my friend's list, but that doesn't mean that he can easily get rid of me because the moment he entered your relationship, he should have known that he is in a relationship with your friends and family too. 

A lot of your good friends had been telling you to just let go and move on. You chose the other path. I tell you to stop being emotional and just be logical, you just told me to stop ignoring him. I would ignore him if you do. 

He has bad friends, as you say. You have good ones. Do not think that you can change him because you love him. He will change for the better,eventually, if he realizes your worth. He should have known that. You should know that. 

Do you really love yourself? Do you know your worth? Honestly, I think you do, otherwise you wouldn't feel unappreciated. But dear, you are giving your love to the wrong person. 

I don't want to stop fighting this battle because you are in such an emotional mess right now. But since you asked me to, then I will. If in case you decide to be with him, as I said, I'll respect that. But then again, just like what I have also said, if he as much as hurts you again, don't expect that I will be there for you because I probably won't because the moment he does, who knows what I'm going to do. 




Miyerkules, Abril 11, 2012

Margaret Sanger


Born Margaret Higgins, Margaret Sanger was a feminist and an advocate of the usage of birth controls. She was from a poor working class family and the 6th of 11 children. Her mother died at the age of 40 and believed that the pregnancies and miscarriages affected her health and were the causes of her death.
Margaret attended Claverack College and Hudson River Institute in 1896 and took up nursing in White Plains Hospital in 1900. Two years after, she got married to William Sanger and had 3 children.
In 1910, she moved to Greenwich Village in Manhattan and started a publication promoting women’s right to birth control. She started her campaign about sex in 1912 by writing a newspaper column entitled What Every Girl Should Know .Because of Obscenity Laws, she was forced to flee to England and worked in the women’s movement until 1915. While she’s there, she found out about other forms of birth control and smuggled it back to the United States.  A year after she got back, she opened the first family planning clinic in Brooklyn,  Birth Control Clinical Research Bureau, which promotes birth control. (http://www.biography.com n.d.)


Margaret Sanger became controversial not only because she promotes the use of birth control pills but also because of several things she wrote. Sanger espoused the thinking of eugenicists -- similar to Darwin's "survival of the fittest" -- but related the concept to human society, saying the genetic makeup of the poor, and minorities, for example, was inferior. (Sanger 1922) 
She also wrote that the purpose of birth control was "to create a race of thoroughbreds," (Sanger 1921).
Although she promotes the use of the pill, she does not promote abortion.  Margaret Sanger actually stated that: “Birth control does not mean abortion.” Here are her exact words:
“The real alternative to birth control is abortion,” wrote Dean Inge, [Dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London]. It is an alternative that I cannot too strongly condemn. Although abortion may be resorted to in order to save the life of the mother, the practice of it merely for limitation of offspring isdangerous and vicious. [Emphasis added] I bring up the subject here only because some ill-informed persons have the notion that when we speak of birth control we include abortion as a method. We certainly do not. Abortion destroys the already fertilized ovum or the embryo; contraception, as I have carefully explained, prevents the fertilizing of the ovum by keeping the male cells away. Thus it prevents the beginning of life. [Source: Margaret Sanger, "Birth Control Advances: A Reply to the Pope," 1931, Margaret Sanger Papers, Sophia Smith Collection, Smith College MSM S71-243.] (Marlin 2011)

Her opinion on promoting birth controls also arose because of her own observation on working women.   In 1913, she began publishing a magazine called the Woman Rebel which was entirely dedicated to the interests of working women and boasted “No Gods, No Masters.” She soon discovered that one of the greatest problems for working women was their own unchecked fertility.  No matter what kind of monetary raises they might win from their bosses, it was rarely enough to keep up with an ever-expanding brood of children. (Gross n.d.)
Regardless of the controversy, Margaret Sanger is a true hero of the reproductive rights movement. She fought against censorship her entire career and sacrificed her freedom and safety to provide contraceptive information and services to all women. (Tiffany 2010)
In an interview with Mike Wallace in 1957, Margaret Sanger talked about why she became an advocate of or birth control, over-population, the Catholic Church, and morality.  According to her, she was “a born humanitarian”.  She was not against the Church. (Sanger 1957)
Sanger has been criticized for her association with eugenics, a branch of science that seeks to improve the human species through selective mating. As grandson Alexander Sanger, chair of the International Planned Parenthood Council, explained, "She believed that women wanted their children to be free of poverty and disease, that women were natural eugenicists, and that birth control, which could limit the number of children and improve their quality of life, was the panacea to accomplish this." Still Sanger held some views that were common at the time, but now seem abhorrent, including support of sterilization for the mentally ill and mentally impaired. Despite her controversial comments, Sanger focused her work on one basic principle: "Every child should be a wanted child." (http://www.biography.com n.d.)



Margaret Sanger saw how her mother and other women in the labor force suffered because of pregnancies which affected not only health but also the economic situation of families. Although women work and as much as there is increase in wages, it is still not sufficient to support the growing family. Birth control is not to eliminate “bad genes”. She was not an advocate of abortion. For her, abortion is dangerous and should not be done.
The goal of taking the pill is to have a control over the woman’s body and not just be a reproduction machine. The world is dominated by men and is ruled by men. Up to this day, women are still seen as sex objects. However, if the woman suddenly gets pregnant, many men still run away from responsibility, thus leaving the woman and the unborn child alone to survive.
I cannot refrain from saying that women must come to recognize there is some function of womanhood other than being a child-bearing machine." What Every Girl Should Know, by Margaret Sanger (Max Maisel, Publisher, 1915) [Jesus said: "Daughters of Jerusalem, weep... for your children. For, behold, the days are coming, in which they shall say, Blessed (happy) are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the breasts which never gave suck." (Luke 23:24)] (12Ap2)
Women should have a choice and just like what the Bible implied, our bodies are merely borrowed and must be taken cared of. There are a lot of women who still take “go and multiply” literally yet in the end, it is not only mothers who suffer.
Women were not only made to conceive a child. Their lives are not only meant to rear a child. In this day and age where there are already equal rights among men and women and when there is already a worldwide economic crisis, it is vitally important that women be able to take charge of their own body and decide what to do with it.
In recent studies, children should have at least a 3-year gap for the mother’s body to fully recover from giving birth. Proper spacing should be observed when planning a family. There are still misconceptions in developing countries that more children would mean a better life because these children would help in farms and that someday one of them might end up being the President of the country.
What these families fail to realize is that more children without sufficient financial capacity would mean malnutrition. Malnourished children would have a difficult time in school and once the parents see that these children are not doing well in school, they would pull them out and ask these kids to help out in farms instead.
If women were to be responsible and use birth controls, then responsible parenthood will follow.

Martes, Abril 10, 2012

Writing

There are a lot of things on my head right now and these are actually making me crazy. I do not even know where to start so I am just going to keep on typing and keep on hoping that whatever it is I am thinking will eventually make sense not only to me, but also to you, my dear readers.

It had been a long time since I have written something. Yes, I had dreamed of becoming a writer... a published writer. Well, thanks to technology, I am now a published writer (hahaha). I may  not be as famous as Bob Ong, Stephen King or Danielle Steele, but hey, a published writer, is still... a published writer. 

So what exactly did I want to write? I remember writing poems and short stories when I was in high school. My poems were usually cheesy(what do you expect from an average high school student?). And I remember when I was still in fourth year high school,my Reading teacher/homeroom adviser told us at the beginning of the school year that our project is to submit a portfolio of poems, essays and short stories. Can you imagine how happy I was then? Yes, I was ecstatic because that would no longer be a problem for me because I already have those (of course, only my best friends knew about that too because we used to exchange our poem journals).  

Let me tell you how I BADLY wanted to publish my poems. On my two notebooks, I already had tables of contents. All I really need to do is type my "manuscripts", submit it to a publisher and hope against all hope that a publishing company will buy my poems. 

So, ok. I haven't really typed it yet. I will get to it as soon as I get my copies at home. But please do remember that these poems were written 14 years ago so yes, it will be all mushy and cheesy. 

What else did I want to write about? Food and travel. I want to travel to a lot of places, get to taste their food and know about their culture. That is certainly a dream job. :)

I had a short writing stint, though, 3 or 4 years ago. I had to stop it because the job that I had was taking too much of my time. What is sad about it is that all of the copies of what I had written were lost when I had to reformat my laptop so now, I have to just go ahead and try to write again so I can have an online portfolio of my works. 

I had a blog on friendster too. But for some reason, friendster messed up my account and my blog had gone kaput. 

Anyway, let me know if there's something you want me to write about. :)

Ciao for now. 



Baby Steps to a Better, Healthier Me (Part 2)

First week and second week went well. :) I've gotten used to eating fish and veggies. There were hunger pangs in between, however managed to buy fruits, yoghurt or whole wheat bread for snacks. Bobby and I had been eating out since Sunday night because Yamaha Race event organizers are here, but still, discipline is the key. I ordered fish (even if they ordered sumptuous and tempting dishes. whew). 

I'm eating healthy and feeling great! I haven't checked whether I lost a significant amount of weight yet because I'm planning to do that on the 25th(which marks the first month... yey!).

My plan to put up a food business has something to do with my change in diet. The food is not only for losing weight,though. It's all about being healthy.

Baby Steps to a Better,Healthier Me

Every year, I make a promise to myself that I will be on a diet. So far, ever since then, the diet only lasted for a month. Hahaha. No doubt, I love food. I love to cook... and to eat... and the fact that my mom, Bobby and his family are great cooks, didn't even seem to help me fulfill that promise. Hehe.

Last year, my Ob-Gyn advised me to lose weight because I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries). So, I was on Metformin and birth control pills for quite some time. Unfortunately, I didn't like the effects it had on me because I was nauseated and kept on throwing up most of the time. So I stopped taking it(even without the doctor's advise). 

When I was still in high school, one of my best friends and I went on a diet.( I honestly don't know how I survived eating soda crackers and iced tea for a month!). We would walk and swim almost everyday just to shed the extra pounds. And it worked(for obvious reasons) just in time for the prom (our motivation).

I've tried slimming teas, diet pills and protein shakes... only to find out that I get even fatter and more bloated when I stopped taking it. 

My goal to lose weight then was just so simple and short-term : to get into a dress for a special occasion. It was so shallow that once the event is done, so was my diet.

What's the difference between then and now? It's the sudden realization that life is indeed short. (Thanks,Leigh). I didn't really like going to hopitals or seeing a doctor for check-ups. I wouldn't take medicine when I'm sick;I just sleep to recover. I wouldn't even take multivitamins or eat fruits. Contrary to the positive term of "fat" being "healthy", I'm not. But then again, I am not yet ready to leave this world soon primarily because I have a little kid.

So when I've been nauseated for almost 3 days, I went to see a doctor of internal medicine. I have a "healthy blood pressure" as she put it. My blood sugar is normal, however I have to... lose weight. (hehe).

And this is what she said,"Wag ka mag-ambisyon na in one month two pounds agad ang mawala sa 'yo. Set realistic goals." And so I did.. I mean.. I am...

I call this "My Baby Steps to a Better,Healthier Me." 

Week 1 : No soda
Week 2 : No pork
Week 3 : 1 cup of rice each meal
Week 4 : 1/2 cup of rice each meal
Week 5 : 1/2 cup of rice twice a day
Week 6 : 1/2 cup of rice once a day
Week 7 : No rice

I have to avoid chicken skin, oily food,junk food and sweets. I am currently on Week 2. Since I am in a "no pork diet", I opt for fish and veggies. I even asked Bobby to cook cabbage soup for me. :)

I am still currently thinking of going back to the gym. I know I should, but that takes a different kind of commitment and I am not sure if I can commit to it yet.hehe.

Since June 25 to date, I have already lost 11 pounds.It doesn't physically show yet(which is the frustrating part), but I know I am on my way to my target (31 pounds to lose!). 

I am not doing this for a special occasion this time. I am doing this because I love myself. :)

Bobby Ray

For those who find this cheesy, then just click on "Home" and continue doing whatever it is you're doing. :) 

I really do not know how to start this. All I know is that I want to write something about my man. He may look like an average Joe, however as everyone who knows him, he's a "jack of all trades". I can't say he's a "master of none" because I know what he's capable of doing. 

Others might think that he's not expressive. I say he is. He doesn't even think that he's sweet. But he definitely is. 

I remember a few months back, he went to the office at 1 AM just because he misses me.(He still does) Once, he even gave me a flower just because he thought of me. 

He shows that he cares in non-traditional ways. For instance, he suddenly went to the house I previously owned and cleaned it. I only found out about it when he mentioned it. He washes my car, even if I don't tell him to. 

I didn't know how he showed his love to his exgfs.It doesn't matter anymore.  I just  couldn't even imagine how easily it was for them to let him go.(Well, okay,  I had to confront his exgf online because she wants him back). Jealous much? Yes I was!   I know I COULDN'T and WOULDN'T  let go of somebody  as wonderful as he is. 

I meant what I said to his exgf. "Nothing and nobody can ever get in the way of our relationship."  If at some point, there was a threat in the relationship, it just made me realize how important he is to me.

For the pain I have caused my man, be it intentional or not, I regret it. I wouldn't want to see him get hurt again. 

For Bobby Ray, honey, your love completes me. I have always believed that we belong to each other....that we're destined to be one. The moment you came into my life was already the time I said "I do". I love you so much, honey. :)

The Pain Never Ends

Just when I think everything seems going well, my luck has suddenly changed.One moment, I am happy and the next, nothing seems to be right. The pain just goes deeper and I don't think it will ever end.

Nobody seems to understand and now I am crawling back to my deep dark abyss.... with no one beside me... no one to hang on to... and no one to rescue me...

I have just given up hope on everything.